


Sick Day

by DarthGoldShurtugal



Category: Devil May Cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 17:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17084546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthGoldShurtugal/pseuds/DarthGoldShurtugal
Summary: Dante gets the flu. Vergil is less than impressed and takes drastic efforts to avoid catching it himself.---Just a mini Oneshot thing, not beta'd or proof read so grammar sucks.---





	Sick Day

Vergil slammed the door shut, hearing a soft thump as Dante abruptly passed out again- this time at least, on his own bed and not the middle of the corridor, in the way, like he had done approximately 10 minutes prior after a massive coughing fit, prompting the dark slayer to drag him upstairs as soon as he was awake.   
He gave himself a nod, before heading downstairs and vigorously washing his hands, settling back into his seat in the main room. All was a little quieter with the usually loud Devil Hunter out for the count, but Vergil enjoyed the peace.

"A...a...atTCCHHOOOOO!!!"  
Vergil's head snapped up to the sound of the young white haired demon hunter sneeze opposite him.  
Nero's eyes widened at the intense glare Vergil gave him, then the latter silently assessed his son's health with his demonic side able to sniff out any illness or injury. 

Humming to himself, the son of Sparda stood, scribbling something on a piece of paper from his notebook and tearing the page off to tuck into his coat. Then he smiled at his son- who gulped.  
Not five seconds later, Nero was flung by the collar into Dante's room, the door slammed behind him, and Yamato stabbed into the doorframe to stop the door from being able to open. Vergil pulled the paper from his pocket, hanging it off the blade.  
He stepped back, admiring his handiwork.  
In a swirling, calligraphic text, the paper read "Quarantine room" with a slight chuckle, Vergil stalked away and resumed writing downstairs.

"Where are Dante and Nero?" Lady asked, returning from the kitchen with food that thankfully wasn't pizza. Vergil glanced up in interest at it but she sneered "get your own". Old feelings died hard it appeared, and Lady was no fonder of Vergil now than she had been of him however many years ago it had been since Temen-Ni-Gru.

"Quarantine" he replied curtly, sneering back.   
Trish also walked in from the kitchen, but she was swirling around a whiskey from the bar.

"With Dante out of action, he can't stop me drinking his whiskey now" she purred, settling into the sofa. Vergil watched how she moved with a raised eyebrow, every action of the demoness forged in the image of his mother was at least somewhat seductive. She caught him staring, and smirked with a wink, leaning forwards on purpose to display what she deemed, her greatest attribute. As if he would be interested in his mother's clone- he lacked the sick perversion Dante seemed to have towards her. Vergil rolled his eyes, then smirked as his superhuman hearing caught Dante waking up and Nero explaining to him that his asshole brother had locked him in because he sneezed.

"I don't even have the flu!" Nero seethed indignantly, and Dante started laughing, though it turned into a wheezing coughing fit. 

"Wrong, kid" Dante replied, and Vergil stopped listening to Nero's rant about how much of a dick he was- and I know you can hear me, asshole... the dark warrior chuckled to himself.

"You know that they can probably get out through the window, right?" Trish said, she had to admit, she'd never taken Vergil for a germaphobe and the thought amused her.

"I barricaded it when I locked Dante in there"  
"What about the en suite window"

"That's far too small to fit through. Even Nero wouldn't be stupid enough to-"  
CRRRAAAASSSSH!!!!   
All heads whipped up to the direction of Dante's room.

"Ah shit" Vergil cursed, and both Trish and Lady collapsed into giggles at the look of sheer horror on his face.  
In through the kitchen strode a very dishevelled and pissed looking Nero, half a hedge and shards of glass decorating his attire. Vergil couldn't help but snigger at a twig sticking up vertically out of the middle of his hair. The hysterical thought flitted through his head of Nero being a trash unicorn and his eyes widened as he attempted not to laugh.  
The women on the sofa didn't bother hiding it, they openly howled at his appearance and the nature of him arriving here. 

"I swear to Sanctus I'm going to SNEEZE on you..." he growled, prompting Vergil to let out a "Nope" and bolt it out the front door.  
\----

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:  
> \--Lady sneezes. Vergil just stares at her. Lady pulls out Kalima Ann and threatens to shoot him if he puts her in "Quarantine"  
> \--Vergil goes upstairs, removes the sign and Yamato from Dante's door and leaves. He puts the sign on Devil May Cry's front door instead. Morrison turns up, sees the sign, and offers Vergil the job he had for them instead.  
> \--Yes, Vergil did catch the flu, and spent the entire time cursing out his entire family.  
> \--Trish is the only one who doesn't end up catching the flu, because she's full demon, and Vergil decides from that point on that "just because she looks like mother does not mean I shouldn't skewer her to the wall with Yamato"  
> \--Dante sneezes so hard that the front door blasts off. Vergil's Quarantine sign is destroyed.  
> \--Patty Lowell still comes to clean for Dante, she also seems impervious to the flu and Vergil decides he also hates her for it. He always snarks at her when he sees her- and she snarks right back, always somehow winning whatever argument they have. Dante finds this incredibly amusing and even gives her a strawberry sundae one day she burned Vergil so badly he's silent for the rest of the day.   
> .... and now I will stop with the headcannons before I write an entire new fic.


End file.
